* The Variety gets its third mention on the bounce, with its doorstaff being forced to keep punters in the building while they tended to a victim of a triple-stabbing on New Years Eve that happened in a pub up the road. Jesus in a jumpsuit, whoever gets that pissed off on NYE? Christmas Eve, I'd understand.
* A bloke from Chilwell is on trial for swapping home-made images of teenage smut in exchange for fags - presumably in preperation for his stint in the Big House
* The annual moan about rail fare increases kicks off anew, even though you can still get dirt-cheap advance tickets and you can run your laptop off the mains