- The Assets Recovery Agency announce that they're going to get their hands right down the back of Colin Gunn's sofa
- People in Daybrook get the arse about a homeless hostel about to be built on Mansfield Road. Could have been worse, chaps - makes a change from more student flats
- The Council show off their new A-Team van, which uses battlefield technology to repel local yout's. They'll be getting a tank, next
- Another local lad dies in Iraq
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