- Some window-licker from Darwin's waiting room tries to hold up a paper shop by pulling his t-shirt over his face, but gets told to fuck off wi' hissen. Don't they have balaclavas or tights in Mansfield, then? I could never do that. I hate people looking at me beer gut.
- It is announced that Nottingham is the UK's most expensive place for students to live. Fucking hell, who would have thought that living in a ponce-box in the Lace Market and having £8 salads in the Orange Tree on your dinner hour would be so costly?
- That smackhead from St Anns who left an old bloke to rot in his bed for a year and a half while she cashed in his pension to buy drugs and duddus gets a suspended sentence. Nice of the Post to point out that although they lived together, the relationship was only platonic. I'd have puked me ring otherwise.
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